I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
