dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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