How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
