There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
