just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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