Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
