Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
