it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
