I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
