dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
