I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
