Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Houston, we have a squirter
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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