OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just tell him i said nine months
operation harelip BJ is a go
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
