Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
