weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
