I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
