Whats the glycemic index on semen?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
