IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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