i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
