my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
