Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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