So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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