i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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