Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
