I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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