I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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