So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
