yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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