I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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