this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize