Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
