so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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