do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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