Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize