There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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