I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
