so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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