you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
