Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize