you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
