She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
