Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
