It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
