people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
