we have pet lesbian snakes
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I touched a dick in church today
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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