the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
