I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize