so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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