You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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