yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
