Christians are straight up FREAKS
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
