he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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