AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
