well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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