Taylor Swift is so right about you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
