apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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