mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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