I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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