I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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