My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
