I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
zippers are such a cool invention
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
