Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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