We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
