I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
