I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
